the impact of a friend...

It's been 8 months since I was interning at Rising Hope for my second summer... eight months since I last saw this friend who really touched my heart and impacted my life...

It's funny how spending two short summers somewhere can affect your life forever. At Rising Hope - home to the least, the lost, the lonely, the left-out - I became friends and family to some people who have eternally touched my heart, and whom I will always remember.

One of these people in particular, I really clicked with in June 2009 when I first came to Rising Hope... you can read a little about her in my posts: "love for the lost" and "life's lows." But these short paragraphs skimming over her life do little justice to the person I befriended. I know that many people knew her and loved her so much more than I, but I feel compelled to remember her in a more complete way...

This friend of mine was an artist. She was always sketching, the ones that I have in my possession are of horses, but she could draw anything! One of my favorite pieces was a picture of Christ, which hangs in the entry way of her church - Rising Hope.

She was also a master of wit. She was just absolutely hysterical and so much fun to be around. I remember one day we were eating lunch together. We began to have the silliest conversation about food. I don't know where it came from or why (maybe lunch wasn't ideal that day). But we were constructing the most intricate, detestable sandwich you can imagine, and practically falling out of our seats laughing with tears streaming down our faces. Sure it was childish and pointless, sure anyone listening to us would probably have thought we were out of it... But it was the kind of memory that sticks with you forever. Two friends enjoying laughter, lunch and conversation - in that moment we weren't from different worlds. In that moment she wasn't "a homeless person" and I wasn't "a college student with my whole future ahead of me," we were friends.

At the Family Fun Fair that Rising Hope puts on every year, I remember seeing her in her element. There was an arts and crafts table set up for the kids to come and draw pictures and do crafts, this was where she helped. I still have the artwork she made that day... but more lasting than those pictures was the joy in her face as she shared with kids the joy of artistic creation. In just an afternoon she shared her passion and talent with dozens of children, brightening up their day, exposing them to creativity and imagination.

I hold many memories from those two summers of this wonderful friend of mine, like these. Alongside of them are some very troubling, disheartening images of a woman struggling with addiction. But her addiction isn't who she was, and I don't want that to be what I hold onto. Her addiction is a thing of this earth - and she has departed from it, into an abundant life where she can eternally live out her creativity, imagination, and humor alongside of the God who created her and loves her.

true friendship

So I haven't been very good about keeping up with my blog this summer. Sorry. I don't have really any very good excuse either. But there's someone I met this summer, a true friend. I've been wanting to share his story, but haven't done so.

At the benefit concert we had last week for Rising Hope he gave a testimony to how the church has impacted his life. I figured, who better than to have him tell it:

"Hello to everyone and God Bless all of you. My name is Dwayne. I look around and see that a lot of you don’t know me! But then I look around again and see my friends from Rising Hope and it gives me the strength and faith to do this.
Pastor Keary asked me if I would like to say a few things that I like or love about my Church, Rising Hope. There are more than a few things that I love about Rising Hope. And it’s my honor to tell you about them.
When I was homeless I didn’t know what to do. So, I went and slept in the woods on Richmond Highway, Route 1. I didn’t become homeless because of Drugs, Alcohol, or mental problems. It just happened. There’s a stigma about homeless people having one of the problems that I just mentioned. But it’s not always true.
I met a lot of homeless people like myself and all they could talk about was a Church called Rising Hope. When they told me about the Hypothermia Program there, I didn’t go! I didn’t go because I was ashamed of being homeless. They went - I stayed in the woods.
It started getting colder and they kept telling me, “No one there will judge you about your homelessness.” So, I swallowed the little bit of pride I had left and went there with them. I stood outside in line and waited to get inside.
There’s only room for 25 people and I was one of the luck ones to get in that night. But for the people that didn’t get in, Rising Hope called other shelters and tried to find places for them to go.
Getting into Rising Hope that night changed my life. There were two women there named Ollie and Sherry who are still friends of mine. I will never forget the first time there I was asked to sign a paper saying that I would treat Rising Hope and all of the people in it with respect. I did, I still do to this day, and I always will.
That first night, once we were all inside and had settled down there was a prayer said for all of us that were there and for all of those who weren’t. Another prayer was said for the food and for the Church volunteers that provided us with it. I was amazed at what happened next: A HOT MEAL! Then afterwards we got to watch a MOVIE!
We all know we take simple things for granted like turning on a switch and getting light. Twisting a knob and getting hot water to take a shower. Having the electricity to watch a movie. We need to step back and think about these kinds of things and the people that don’t have them.
I came back to Rising Hope every night until the Hypothermia Program closed. I felt safe there. I felt love there. I felt that Rising Hope cared about me and when you have no one else, that’s a good feeling.
I continued coming to Rising Hope after the Hypothermia program closed. I found my housing through the Church and New Hope Housing – which is a great organization that I am still a part of today.
Thank God for the things that Rising Hope does for everyone up and down the Route One Corridor and all over. It’s unbelievable. I will never be able to pay Rising Hope back for what they have done for me. There are many other people that feel the same way.
I wake up every morning and look forward to going to Rising Hope as much as I can. Not just to volunteer however I can, but also just to feel the warmth inside the Church.
Rising Hope is a non-profit Church and we survive on donations and volunteers. If there is any way you can help us we would truly appreciate it. I hate to think of a day when I would go to Rising Hope and the doors would no longer be open. It would affect so many people in a negative way.
I want to thank Ms. Venisa for her daily prayer services. She takes from the Bible and breaks it down so we all can understand what she’s saying. I also want to thank Ms. Deborah, who always has the time and dedication to listen to everyone and help them on the path they are seeking. And to Ms. Jennifer who always looks out for the needs of the homeless with a great passion. I also want to say a prayer for Linda and the work that she does in the Food Pantry. And for Marilyn whose Journey is taking her to a righteous path of Youth Ministry. Also, I want to pray for Bekah who is an intern at Rising Hope and for all the good things she does. Please pray for Pastor Keary for the strength, wisdom and faith to continue to do the great things that he does.
Now, I would like all the staff and volunteers from Rising Hope to stand up and be recognized for all the good they do for our Church. Let’s give them a hand!
Rising Hope not only provides spiritual healing, it also provides food for the hungry; clothes for those that need them; and true friendship to all those who walk through their doors. I love Rising Hope and what it stands for. Please don’t let this church fail. Thank you for letting me tell you my story and share how much I care about my church. Everyone here should know that everything I have said tonight has come from my heart!
Now, I hope you understand why my church is called Rising HOPE!"

What Dwayne didn't share in his speech is how much he does for Rising Hope. This summer the church's custodian had an injury. So, Dwayne took on the position and he was there everyday before and after his shift, volunteering at least as much time as he was on the clock. The custodian has returned to work and Dwayne still comes most everyday, ready to lend a helping hand wherever needed.

I misplaced my water bottle this past weekend. After it'd been missing a couple days I asked him if he'd seen it around the office. He hadn't. I came into work on Tuesday morning and there was a plastic bag sitting on my desk with my name across it. I opened it up and inside there was a brand new water bottle, much like the one I'd lost. (I found my water bottle that day, but I don't have the heart to tell him). For someone who lives dollar to dollar, who is still in a housing program after being homeless, buying a gift like a new water bottle is very generous and heart felt.

There is more to Dwayne's story than he shared. He was in a horrible state when he first came to Rising Hope. And as I think about where he was to where he's come, I am astounded. God's work is powerful, and He's used Rising Hope to touch this man's life (and the lives of many others) in meaningful ways.

what do i do?

It has occurred to me that over both last summer and this one I talked very little about what I was actually doing here at Rising Hope.

So, I guess I'll share a little...

This summer we've been out a children's coordinator - which is primarily where I worked last summer - so I've been doing that again. Currently we are doing "Camp Rising Hope" which is a week long day camp for kids from our church and those we minister to. Another UM church in the area puts this program on. For the past fourteen years we've had this partnership going. From our end, we just coordinate and organize the children and take care of some transportation. But it's still great to see how much the kids - who usually wouldn't have such an opportunity - get out of it.
Today I was talking to the mother of Miguel and Stephanie while they were being picked up. I asked her how they had enjoyed their first day. She lit up when she told me how much fun her children had the day before. They'd never been to any type of camp before and coming home they were asking, "When do we get to go again? Can we go back next year?"

We also are getting ready for Vacation Bible School - like every church. We have probably forty kids signed up so far, and we'll surely get more! We average between 4 and 6 children in Sunday School each week at church - so to get so many children signed up for the program is amazing! It's a lot to put together, but it'll be great!
Speaking of Sunday School, I teach that each week, too!

Sometimes, a little lift me up is just what I need when I'm feeling stressed out with work. Well leave it to one of the characters at Rising Hope to encourage me... he said, "I like you. You're my buddy. Them kids, they like you, too. Kids are innocent. They know a good people when they see one. And they crazy about you!"

Working with the children is such a joy! But they're just a part of my job...

For the second year in a row we're having a big benefit concert for Rising Hope. Jeff Majors, a gospel/jazz artist is doing a National Tour for the Homeless, and he's doing a concert for us! It's a huge fundraiser for our church. The tickets are free with a donation of one can of food, and then we'll take a love offering at the performance to raise money. We also have a number of churches, businesses, and individuals who sponsor it. It's a chance for the community to come out and support our ministry, but it's also a chance to honor those whom we serve. The homeless and sponsors alike receive reserved seating. In the hustle and bustle of concert season, I get to be in charge of handing out tickets, contacting the sponsors, and putting together the program... it's a lot of work. But it'll be great.

One thing I love participating in at Rising Hope is the choir. It's not like any choir I've ever sung in, but we have a blast! Every Tuesday night is rehearsal, and although it makes Tuesday a 12 to 13 hour day at the church, it's well worth it. Our choir is actually opening for Jeff Majors at the concert! :)

So, that's a lot of what I'm up to. And, being the intern... And being a 20-year-old... I do a lot of errand running and copy making and random task performing. There's never a lack for something to fill my time!

My favorite part of the week is noon prayer service. I'm sure you remember me talking about it last year. Everyday at noon we hold a service. We usually have a song and a small lesson or a devotional, and then we share and pray together. I have the joy of leading this service once a week or so - usually on Fridays. This is one of the ways I really get to know our people. This is where they share their struggles and their heartaches. This is where they bring their triumphs and their praises. This is where we worship together, pray together, visit together... it's our family time.
Last Friday was humbling... I was taking prayer requests... for death in families, a young couple had a miscarriage, an older couple's health wasn't doing well, someone couldn't get the medication they needed, a nephew was lying to try to get a job, someone was injured and couldn't work, someone was dealing with depression, people are locked up or in drug situations, people are struggling with homelessness and addictions, people are searching for jobs and praying for interviews, people are seeking to be closer to God - and these were just Friday's prayers. As I'm finishing up writing these all down, one more hand raised...

"...And I'd like to say a prayer for you. You know, God's using you. I'd like to pray that you continue to allow Him to use you and work in your life..."

...these people are at Rising Hope because they need some extra support, they need a hot lunch, or some clothes on their back, food for the week, financial support, recovery from addiction, or spiritual restitution... yet in the midst of all of their problems they lift me up.

Today in prayer, I witnessed something beautiful. A recovering crack cocaine addict, who suffers from depression, mental illness and permanent damage from drug use, and who seeks restored relationships with her family members... she felt led to pray for another woman there who is still consumed in alcoholism to the point that she previously chose imprisonment over a half-way house... That prayer was powerful. It was real and heartfelt, filled with understanding and hope...

What do I do at Rising Hope?
Sure, a little office work and coordinating... a little praying and singing, too...
mostly, I get to witness God working through his people - broken though they may be - as they seek to minister to each other.

Welcomed Home

After one year away, I've been back at Rising Hope United Methodist Mission Church for a week now... it feels like I never left.
There are changes, sure. Many improvements in the church itself, new faces, old faces (that I had never encountered) resurfacing... but the mission is the same, and the love and heart of these people is the same.

Some of the friends I told you about last summer aren't around now... one has gone home to Jesus, another is incarcerated, others - well, who knows? Some are the same as always...

Remember my good friend who spent most of his time loitering on the corner drunk? You know, the one who 'gots my back?' He's still around and still drunk - but boy was he ecstatic to see me! I got to talk to him yesterday, and although his eyes were bloodshot, his speech a little slurred, and he reaked of alcohol, he shared his heart. He told me, "Now, Bekah... I don't have much. But what I have, I give you. I give you my best. I give you my love... Anybody ever mess with you? They come through me. Anybody ever try to hurt you, they come through me. You get me, Bekah? I give you my best. I give you my love." He may be a poor alcoholic... but he's a baptized believer and brother in Christ. He may not be worthy of the world's attention, but he's worthy of God's love.

Tears were brought to my eyes a handful of times this week as I was greeted again and again by old friends. Each surprised, excited look of recognition and following warm embrace was a confirmation of God's placing me here. I was told that it was great to have me back... wonderful to have me home... it's so good to see me again... "God is so awesome to bless us with you again..." It's humbling, because I know that these people are impacting me far more than I can do for them...

What can I do for the man who came here from another country with his family? He is educated, and was successful, had his own company... one day he was driving an employee and was pulled over. His employee was carrying drugs, but because he was driving the car, he was arrested, too. When he was released from prison, he had lost everything. His wife and family were gone, his house had foreclosed, his degrees stripped from him, his company no longer...

What can I do for the man with a PhD. and an M.D. who is now a homeless alcoholic? He has two broken feet. He was picked up by an ambulance twice this week because he almost died laying outside in the 100 degree weather...

What can I do for my good friend who was abused by the police? Racially profiled and suspected of using drugs, so he was unjustly arrested and beat up to the point he was hospitalized, when he was innocently out for a walk and didn't have an ounce of illegal substance on him...

I learned last summer that I can't fix their greatest physical struggles or deepest hurts, but God has called me to love them. That's what we do at Rising Hope, and that's why God has called me back. We accept them as they are, and help however we can... and sometimes all we can do is share the love of Jesus - yet that is the most powerful thing.

"This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us." 1 John 4:10-12

positive impact

As my earlier blogs have obviously expressed: The people of Rising Hope have had a significant impact on my life...
I have participated in many mission trips and service work and in these experiences have come to expect the people I meet and work with to impact me. I realize that I am helpful to them as well, but it is usually not very obvious that what I have done has actually been life-changing for the people I serve.
In the last couple weeks at Rising Hope I was blessed, surprised, and humbled as I learned that my presence was more than "a help" or "a nice addition" to the community... by doing God's work, I impacted lives.

I told you about my friend who loiters and drinks on the corner - the one who "gots my back." Remember he had a really low day and was feeling as though life wasn't worth it. Jesus spoke through me, through my words, my actions, my love and reaching out...
He has recently told me that I changed his life. He said that God is working through me, and that if I can change his life, I could change the world. He encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing, keep loving people how I was... Keep serving Jesus, because He has great plans for my life.
(Now, the couple times he related this to me, he was wasted. So although it truly did touch me, I felt like I didn't have that much of an effect.)

Then, something happened, and I'll get to it soon...

Sunday was my last worship service at Rising Hope. We had an "Order of Farewell" for Allie (the other intern serving at RH this summer) and me. During this time it was opened to the congregation to share their stories and memories they had with Allie and me. It was very rewarding to stand before this family and be spoken of so highly. My friends were in tears as they thanked me for what I did there, as they shared different instances where I had impacted them significantly.
One friend started crying as she spoke of her gratefulness the day I took her to her niece's graduation. I had to go through pouring rain, lots of traffic, pick other people up, take her around... (it wasn't bad or frustrating to me) she related all of this and added "and you didn't complain once. I just love you so much for all you've done for me."

Another friend, someone I honestly didn't interact with many times said she just loved my joy. That I was always such a positive uplifter and my joy was infectious. It meant so much to her to get to know me and be affected by my attitude.

Many things were mentioned, my leading of the prayer services, my work with the children...
Allie and I both were spoken of so highly and specially.
Another friend sung a song for Allie and me, as a farewell gift. She has a powerful, rich, soulful voice - it was beautiful. Before she sang the song, she spoke of a gift I gave her last week. I had heard her mention that she loved the song "How Can I Keep from Singing" by Chris Tomlin. Well I absolutely love the song as well; so, I used it in Friday's prayer service with my lesson. I didn't really think it was all that big of a deal - but she did. She said it touched her so much to be thought of, and that it may seem like a "little thing" but sometimes the "little things" are what matters most. And then she returned her gratefulness in song.

But what touched me the most this Sunday, goes back to the man I began speaking of at the beginning of this blog. My alcoholic friend came to Sunday service. He came fully clothed, and completely sober. He came to worship, not for the whole 2 hour service, but he came, and he stayed awhile. He never comes to church, he has occasionally come to prayer service, always pretty drunk and doesn't stay but minutes... but he doesn't attend the Sunday worship. This week was different.
Later he spoke to me. He said, "I'm no good at this church thing," but he came because of me. He came because I impacted his life. He came because He saw God in me.

And I realized that although this experience was not, at all, about me, God certainly used me in mighty ways to give something important to the people of Rising Hope.

My friend who sang for Allie and me Sunday was saying Goodbye yesterday, my last day at Rising Hope. She said that it was so wonderful to see me so committed to the Lord at such a young age, and that God would continue to bless me, and bless others through me as He has done at Rising Hope. She told me that I made her think of a song... and she sang a line from it:
"Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am a life that was changed. Thank You for giving to the Lord, I am so glad you gave..."

It is hard to believe that my days at Rising Hope are over. The friendships I've formed, the people I've helped, the love I've shared, the blessings I've received, all I have taught and learned, taken with me and given to them... remains.
Forever I will think of the people there - the least, the lost, the lonely, the left-out: the alcoholics, the crack-heads, the impoverished, low-income, disenfranchised, criminals, felons, marginalized, the unemployed, the mentally disabled or unstable, the emotionally distressed, homeless - but I have long since stopped thinking of them with these labels, I categorized them less and less as our relationships formed and developed.
So, ever-present in my heart will be my Rising Hope Family... and I hope I, too, remain in theirs.

life's lows

My friend I told you about a few weeks ago, remember the one with the drinking problem and the upcoming courtdate? Well, I went with her to her court date. I was with her while she waiting, taking bathroom breaks to sneak some alcohol... I was there when she was sentenced to a treatment program - to be completed by her trial date in October. I rejoiced with her that she wasn't facing jail time...
And then I was with her the next day, as she sat, drunk, in the noon-prayer service which I was leading...
Then, I didn't see her... for days. I prayed, and I waiting anxiously for a sign of her. Hearing about how she had been drinking again, worrying that her sentence of a treatment program wouldn't be fulfilled.
Well, she was picked up, arrested, and is currently in jail. She sent us a letter at the church, and I think she has woken up. She's pretty low right now, and she can't indulge her addiction, there. But she's not trying to get out... she's trying to get through a treatment program there.
At her low though, she wrote to her church... at her low she knows God is there.

Last week I sat with my host-mom at the church comforting a friend. We have a friend at Rising Hope who "gots our backs." He doesn't usually enter the church. He's not a member, and he doesn't volunteer either. But he does run the corner of loiterers/drunkards outside, and they watch out for the church, they watch out for its staff, and "no matter how many times we call the cops on them,they still love us."
He's 55, and he has nothing in his life of value but that corner. No wife, no children, no job...
He came into the church distraught this day. He had had enough.
"I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm ready to go home." he repeated, as he wept.
"Life's hard. I'm tired. I want to go home. I'm going home to my Father tonight. He says he got a room for me. In my house there are many rooms... I'm going home."
We all three cried together. Our attempts at comfort were accepted, but he was certain that he was done with this world...
Then we prayed with him. He decided he wasn't going to go home tonight. He was going to keep on.
At life's low, he found God was there.

Another of my friends, the one I told you who said a couple weeks ago that it was her last day for crack cocaine? She's facing a courtdate, the possibility of penitentiary looming over her head. She is homeless, now. She is searching for a recovery program to complete, so she can show she is moving forward. It's harder and harder as each day approaches her courtdate.
But everyday she's at the church. Everyday she sits in noon-prayer service, actively participating, in praise and in petition. She holds onto her church family and her faith.
At her life's low, she knows God is there.

A new friend at church... a young woman with an 18 month old daughter has been coming. She is jobless, she doesn't have money for gas, shampoo, rent, baby wipes and diapers, food... Her family has left her because she is trying to make things work with her child's father. She feels abandoned and alone. She is searching for a job as she tries her best to deal with caring for her child, restoring a relationship, a lack of family support, and a failing financial situation... but she has come to church, not just for assistance, but for worship and prayer service.
At her life's lows, she is finding God there.

We all have our lows - some of them may seem petty to us, now... as we read of those whose lives have spiraled out of their control... but I hope you find, that at all your lows, God is there with you, eager to walk you through.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me..." Psalm 23:4

How far do you go for LOVE?

A man at Rising Hope: homeless, yet joyful and giving; always volunteering; always ready to lend a helping hand; asking little, forever grateful. My friend, patting me on the shoulder, giving me a high-five, or a toothy grin. I see him carrying in donations, sweeping inside or out, running errands around the building, always with a smile on his face.

One day, on my way home from work I was in my van stopped behind a row of cars at the stoplight beside the church. He was walking up the middle of the street, pausing at each car asking for money. Some people would hand a buck out their window. With each dollar he received he was increasingly grateful. When he reached me, he looked a little embarrassed that he almost asked for money. Realizing who was in the car he shook his head and his finger, closed his eyes with a look of deep gratitude encompassing his face as his hands grasped his heart. Then, he blew me a kiss and walked on. He seemed to be saying, "Thank you so much for what you do for me already... I couldn't ask the church for any more than they already give." Then he skipped on to the next vehicle.

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A lady at Rising Hope, homeless and penniless, sleeps on the street, lives on the street. Attends prayer regularly, and is ever-aware of God working in her life, getting her through each day. She is bothered by the drunks that hang around the church, she'll take their bottles from them and bring them into the church office. She is adamant that they stop causing problems.
The other day I arrived at work with my host-mom (also the secretary of the church) we saw her sitting outside: downcast, overwhelmed, crying. Well, that day my host-mom and I sat down beside her on the curb, comforting her, rubbing her back, asking her what was wrong, letting her know we cared, we wanted to help her if we could.
Her homeless boyfriend had beat her again. When he's drunk, he gets violent. He has been arrested many times for public drunkenness. That past weekend he had been picked up three different times, a disturbance to the church people and the passers-by. This time, after being offered coffee in his drunken state he dumped it on his girlfriend, burning her.
Why would she stay with him? How could she love a man who dumps coffee on her, beats her, causes her to be depressed and cry?

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Why would she? How could she? Because her boyfriend is the cheerful man who blew me a kiss and wouldn't ask me for money. Her boyfriend is the loving, fun, helpful volunteer who is always at the church giving me a big smile and a pat on the back. Her boyfriend is the man who stays on the streets with her, preventing her loneliness.
When he is sober he is the man in the first story, when he is drunk he is the man in the second.

Why would she? How could she? Because she loves him.

She loves him enough to take the alcohol away from him or those providing it and give it to the church. She loves him enough to watch him arrested again and again for public drunkenness. She loves the man he is without the alcohol. She loves the man he could always be if he stayed sober. Does she go too far for love?

We live in a world filled with problems of drunkenness and abuse, we are part of a people who hurt others and ourselves. We all fall short of deserving love... and yet:

"God so loved the world that He gave His only Son..." (John 3:16)

How far would you go for love?