the beginning...

I am not at Rising Hope UMC yet, as I am still training for the internship. There are 8 other Young Adult Mission Interns of the United Methodist Church for this summer. We are from all over the world and will be placed all over this country to further God's Kingdom and to serve His people in need.

I wasn't sure if I would even write about the training period - because I'm not out doing/serving currently. Yet I feel like the training is vital to our internship - so maybe your knowledge of it will better your understanding of the rest of my internship journey which I have yet to experience or relate to you...

Tonight we had a Session on Prayer... we closed the session by writing a prayer on a piece of paper, walking a prayer labyrinth, placing our paper-prayer in its center, and walking out of the labyrinth... we then all joined together and prayed.

I guess although prayer is nothing new to me, nor are labyrinths, I had a new experience/realization as I prayed and walked along the path. This training has been a time of new relationships: with eight other interns, and a variety of adults who are leading us in sessions to prepare us for our position. These relationships are new, and for a short period of time. Never again will we nine interns be all together again, as the same people - even when we reunite at the end of our internships we will be changed. So although these friendships are not necessarily for life - they are still important to our life.

As we walked along the labyrinth we were spaced out, walking close and far from one another, towards, away from, or following. At times we walked together, at times we brushed by, at times we were aware of all of us participating, and at others we were focused on our own walk. So it is with the labyrinth of life - portions we walk together, alone, or close by... at times we recognize others, at times we are walking towards each other, and at other times we are walking away... but each encounter of relationship is a piece of our lives that is vital to forming who we are.

So each of these fellow interns: Joy, Joe, Nichol, Saul, Paul, Ashita, Raissa, and Jeannette; each of those who've led us: Suzanne, Glenn, Lucas, Mary Beth, Bruce (although Bruce has crossed my path many times before, and is probably most likely to again), and Joanne; they've all impacted my life - who I am in some way... and the imprints they've left on my life, especially as we train for our internships together, will be displayed in my job this summer and the rest of my journey.

I realized something else as I prayed, something probably more vital: as I walked to the center of the labyrinth, carrying my paper-prayer, I had a distinct purpose to achieve - to lay my prayer before God. I prayed all along the journey: the prayer I had written out, and much more. When I arrived at the center, and lay the prayer down I wasn't completely fulfilled - I wasn't finished. My prayer was given, my praise was offered, my faith was being used, my relationship with Jesus was evident as I connected and conversed with Him... and then I turned around and continued the walk, out of the labyrinth, and I continued the journey in prayer, I lifted more and more up, I praised more, I gave more, I asked more, I shared more... just as I had done on the walk in... this labyrinth didn't have an ultimate end to a journey, a true complete center, going out was just like coming in for me... and I realized this:

I have so much to give to God - all of myself. As I go through my life I will give Him all of myself in prayer and praise, in service, in mission, in offering, in relationships. Yet, even if I give Him ALL that I am, it will never be enough, it will never be all He is worth. My life, my praise, my prayer, my relationship doesn't surmount to what He deserves, to what He is owed. If I am truly grateful forever, He will not be thanked enough.
I thought: If I knew the same number of things about God as He knew of me I will still not know a fraction of Him. The Greatness He is, is something I will never fully comprehend... yet I know He is Great and worthy of my never-ending praise, He is worthy of my life offered in service and much more - and since it's not enough, He makes up for it.
In all the insufficiencies of my life-offering; In all that is incomplete and unfulfilled in my service in mission - He covers. He makes up for all I cannot. It humbles me to recognize that God is so absolute, that no matter how completely and how forever I give all I am, I will never give all He deserves - but He will take me, HE WANTS TO TAKE ME, and He will use me, HE WANTS TO USE ME. My insufficicient self can be worked through to accomplish amazing things for His kingdom.

I hope that as I continue on my life's labyrinth - the continual journey of prayer and offering to God - that I can impact the people I pass along the way, the people I walk with, the people I walk to, the people I walk away from, the people I brush by, the people I encounter along the way - that I might impact them and they may impact me... that we may share Jesus with each other, that we may serve each other as we serve our God.

This is my hope as I walk into my internship experience - and this is my hope as I walk out of it.